Is Australian English drunk?

Aussies slur their words and use only two-thirds of their mouth to speak because early settlers spent most of their days DRUNK, academic says 

• The Australian language developed because early settlers were often drunk
• Academic claims the constant slurring of words distorted the accent
• The average Australian speaks to just two thirds capacity
• The drunken speech has been passed down from generation to generation

This is the way some  of them slur words, according to the report

HERE IS THE FULL ARTICLE AND VIDEO

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